


Little Star

by supremeleader



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 17:59:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15935462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supremeleader/pseuds/supremeleader
Summary: Request: Can I request something where the reader was once super close with Ben and Force sensitive, and got into an accident that caused her to have amnesia by the time she reunites with him as Supreme Leader Kylo? (captures or found is up to you!) So Kylo is trying to "remake" memories with her while she's trying to remember everything? Some fluff or smut, up to you!





	Little Star

Distant rumbles filled the night air as lightning had struck moments before. The sounds of heavy footsteps marching and rushing around echoed amongst the narrow alleyways. Your heart raced as you sprinted down the thin, steep steps that connected into numerous alleys. You should've known better, should've been more careful, kept yourself hidden like you were told by those who had seen it happen countless of times. The First Order raids. 

The First Order had claimed your home planet and took it as one of its own "allies", and with the abundance of life forms, many preferred to rebel then to help that of the military organization. Where you lived, the city was the capital and most of the action happened there. Most of the spontaneous raids took place in your own backyard—the city itself. The moment you heard the muffled yelling followed by the flashes of bright lights that seeped through the windows of your apartment, you knew you weren't safe.

They warned you, the elderly who had survived so long—ever since the Empire—advised you to stay in. No matter how unsafe you believed to be. It's more dangerous out on the streets than in your own place! It is rare for them to break into homes unless they are extra detailed! They'd say, and most times you'd listen... but this time, you didn't. Your curiosity had gotten the best of you.

Turning a corner and leaning against the grey wall, you took in deep breaths as you shut your eyes for a moment. The second you left the confines of your apartment building and saw the cluster of soldiers in white armor, your heart skipped a beat as your eyes widened. The way they marched, the way they aimed their blasters and fired them. You were so lost in a daze of pure awe and fear that you hadn't realized how close they were. How their stoic figures were approaching. You were completely caught in a trance to even realize a darkened figure, one that contrasted from the horde, emerge from the sea of white and looked right at you.

That's when you ran. You turned on your heel and sprinted into the alley and didn't stop. For some reason, something unsettling pooled up within your gut. It was something beyond your instinct. You couldn't tell what, it was more than a warning, and you were feeling it around you like a bubble. That's how you found yourself hidden behind a wall, trying to catch your breath. You knew you were far from your apartment and couldn't possibly go back now. You could only keep running, but where to?

Hearing the thunder roar once again, your heart skipped a beat. Sooner or later it was going to storm down and make the situation far words. You had to do something, go somewhere.

Slowly leaning out, peaking around the wall, you sighed in relief. No one was to be found. No soldiers. Maybe it was because of how narrow the passage was? 

Or maybe you were paranoid. Maybe they were looking in a general direction and not at you...

Trying to calm yourself down, you quietly walked out and aimed down the steps, all the way to the end. You knew another path that could possibly lead you home if the barrage of soldiers had left the perimeter, but as you reached the end, you came to a sudden halt. 

Feeling your heart race at the sight of the man standing ahead of you, cladded in all black and staring right at you, you nearly choked on air. You wanted to back up, but something was keeping you in place, something was holding you there. You knew you could move, but your body didn't want to. 

Taking one small step forward as the man stared at you, your heart skipped a beat as your breath hitched. You knew it was him, the figure that emerged from the soldiers. He was looking right at you and he had found you. 

For some reason, you weren't entirely terrified, although a part of you was apprehensive. You should've been fearful, wanting to run away, but instead you stood there as the man stared right at you. After all... if he wanted to kill you, wouldn't he have done it already? 

You oddly felt... safe?

"Little star..." He lowly spoke, your head tilting. 

"Huh?" Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as the man's shoulders dropped. 

"My little star... After so long—" 

Watching him approach you, you took a step back as your heart fluttered. "Please, I am no threat to the First Order, I just was curious!" 

Blinking, the man's eyebrows furrowed as he stopped in his tracks, your heart suddenly sinking. "I am not here to hurt you." He said with a shaky voice, almost as if hurt by your assumption. 

"Then— Then why did you follow me?" You stuttered, but the man's face looked pained, as if you had struck his heart. 

"What do you mean why?" He snapped, causing you to flinch. Taking a small step back, he shook his head. "I know it has been so long, and that I may look different, but... you must know who I am!"

Slowly shaking your head as you gulped, the man's breath hitched. "No... I'm... I'm sorry..."

Sucking in a sharp breath as his eyebrows lifted, the man clenched his fists. "Don't— Don't lie to me." He shook his head, speaking through tight teeth. "Please."

"I— I'm not... I don't— I'm sorry..." You breathed, shaking your head again as he took a staggered step back, almost as if he'd fall. "Please..." You lifted your hands. "I don't mean any disrespect if you are of higher power amongst the First Order, I truly apologize." 

Eyeing you with blurred eyes, his jaw tightened as he aimed for you. Your heartbeat quickened as he treaded right to you, the sight of a tear slipping catching your attention before he lifted a gloved hand towards you. "Forgive me."

━━━━━━

My little star...

Don't call me that!

What? I think it's cute.

I am not little... And don't say to you I am.

You're my little star, my favorite thing in the galaxy. 

Oh, hush.

Feeling your senses slip back in as you had become conscious, your eyes fluttered opened as confusion filled you. When had you fallen asleep? And whose voices were those? Unless it was all in your head...

Nearly jumping in your lying position, startled by the fact that you were no longer in the place you were last, you quickly sat up and instantly clutched your temples. A head rush. 

"You're safe here." Flinching at the sound of the voice, you searched the room to find the same man from before standing at the threshold of the door. 

"Where am I?" Your voice faltered as your heart throbbed. "How did I get here?"

"You are in my chambers." He calmly spoke, a faint shine in his eyes that wasn't metaphorical, yet, actually there. The tears, he had been crying. For what reason? "Forgive me, I had to bring you here. You... You have forgotten."

Narrowing your eyebrows, you swallowed. "Forgotten what? You make it seem like I— I am supposed to know you but I have no idea as to who you are?"

"You do. You do know me. You and I... we have known each other since we were—" Cutting himself off, the man lowered his voice, "Jedi padawans..."

"Jedi padawans?" You nearly whispered. "I— I was never a... I was never one? They— They don't exist anymore..." You shook your head. "Please, who are you? Why are you so persistent on me knowing you?"

"Because you do!" He cried out. "You do know me and for some reason you— you have forgotten!" 

"Sir—"

"Ben. Ben Solo." He interjected as your heart suddenly skipped a beat. "You know that name! I see— I see it in your eyes!"

Eyeing him, you gulped. "I... I don't."

Feeling his breath hitch, the man fell to his knees before you, gloveless hands reaching for your own. "Ben Solo, the Jedi Temple. You, Y/N, my little star!" He spoke in a pleading tone, grip tightening around your hands. "Please remember!"

Quietly sitting there, suddenly feeling tears fill your eyes, you shook your head. "I— I can't remember... I don't remember you..." Your breathing hitched as you looked down shamefully. He was persistent in you knowing who he was, and you were sure he wasn't lying with how desperate he seemed... but you couldn't remember him. Not one bit. And you were terrified by that matter. 

Staring up at you with eyes brimming with tears, an expression of pure heartbreak as his eyebrows scrunched up, your own heart sank. "You don't... You've forgotten about me..." He lowly spoke with a shaky voice. "You don't..." Feeling his breathing quicken, you sat there in silence, shaking your head. "Who took you from me?" His voice cracked, your heart shattering. For some reason, that felt too familiar. That feeling, the sound of his words triggering something within you, but all you felt was sadness. 

"Were we... Were we lovers?" You suddenly asked as his eyes snapped up to meet yours. "Is that why it pains you so much? That I don't know who you are?"

Loosening his grip around your hands, he hesitantly shook his head. "Best friends..." He lowly spoke. "But I loved you... more than a best friend should."

Feeling your stomach turn at his confession, you frowned. "Did I..."

"I need you to remember it all. Do you not recall your own childhood?" He asked but your frowned deepened. You never knew of your childhood, you never pondered on the past, always focused on the now with the lonely life you lived. "You don't..."

"I... I never thought about it. But... I guess that's because there was nothing to think about..." You confessed. "I'm sorry, Ben..."

Feeling his heart sink at the sound of his birth name slipping off your tongue, he looked away for a moment. "Kylo Ren. My name is no longer Ben Solo, Kylo Ren is what I go by." He began as you tilted your head. "I left it behind with my past. I am the Supreme Leader of the First Order. This is who I have become." Gulping, for some reason you felt... disappointed. "I know how disappointed you would've been in me. How it'd hurt you. All that has happened. But I never forgot about you... I always— You were always there. And I knew you were. I felt you. But now... you have forgotten."

Frowning, you let out a small breath. "I wish I could remember. A part of me... feels as if there is something there, but I don't know what." You shook your head. "I just can't. I can't remember anything..."

Furrowing his eyebrows, Kylo looked up at you. "How far can you remember?"

Trying to think back, you shrugged. "I...  I remember... Waking up confused in one of the alleys near my apartment..." You confessed as Kylo's eyes widened. "I had an awful ache in my head, a throbbing... like a— a migraine? Someone had found me, they ended up being a neighbor of mine and they asked if I was alright and I... I wasn't sure? They took me to my apartment and asked me things that I couldn't quite answer and... I remember just having fragments of my memories. Of what I did for a living, of my home, of my neighbor... but nothing more."

Letting go of your hands as he stood from his kneeling position, Kylo looked down at you with a snarl. "Someone did this to you."

"Huh?" You questioned, looking up at him. 

"Someone hurt you. Someone took your memories. You have amnesia." He seethed, breathing quickening. "Someone did something and made you lose your memories!" Kylo exclaimed, anger evident in his tone as your heart sank. 

Seeing his chest heave, you stood up and reached for his hand, carefully holding it. "Maybe you can help me remember." You calmly spoke. "Maybe you can tell me things, stuff that you knew about me, and maybe it can trigger something... And then, maybe I can remember."

Looking you in the eyes, Kylo took in a deep breath before nodding. "We will find whoever did this to you and I will—" Cutting himself off, Kylo bit down. 

Squeezing his hand, you softly spoke, "Why don't you start by telling me how we met?" 

 

 

Five days had passed since Kylo brought you to his chambers. Ever since then, he had given you the room beside him to keep you close while slowly trying to refresh your memory. Little by little, small things were coming back. 

You hardly left your chamber, only to certain areas as you took walks besides Kylo, who claimed walking may have the slightest effect of helping you. Either way, you were starting to feel more and more safe around him and you weren't sure as to why...

Maybe it was how he spoke to you, or maybe it was how hard he was trying to help. It could've also been that extra precaution he took whenever he saw an officer or trooper walk by and he couldn't help but pull you closer. 

And maybe it was the stories he told you. How the two of you had known each other since you were both teenager. The stories of the two of you training together under his uncle at a Jedi temple—something you never believed yourself to be. A Jedi. A Force User. 

Whatever it was, your heart was swollen. 

"How did the nickname little star come to be?" You curiously asked as you walked beside Kylo along the vast halls of the vessel you were now staying on. 

Looking over at you, Kylo bit his inner lip, feeling his heart thud against his chest at the thought. "You had this habit of staring out at the stars whenever night had fallen. It calmed you, helped you ease into sleep. You believed that it was a sort of connection to your parents..."

"My parents?" You asked as he nodded. 

"You loved the stars... and you're shorter than me. So little star came to be." He breathed and you couldn't help but blush, only to remember that odd dream you had. 

"I... I had a dream... or a memory of this? Of you calling me little star for the first time. I seemed like I hated it, but I don't feel that? I... love it." You said as Kylo looked back at you with slightly wide eyes. 

"You remember that?" 

"Partially. You called me your little star and I said something like don't call me that..." You nodded. "And then... you said I was your favorite thing in the galaxy." 

Stopping in his tracks, you then stopped with him, looking up at him as he breathed in. "You have no idea how much it pains me that I have to hold back from calling you that."

"Then don't..." You softly smiled at him. "I may not remember it all... but maybe it could help me—"

"There you are, I have been looking everywhere for you." Hearing someone call out, your heart suddenly sank, the voice triggering something within you as your stomach flipped. "We have important matters to discuss about—" 

Lifting his hand up to stop whoever it was from talking, Kylo kept his eyes on you, concerned. You looked disassociated, as if your mind was elsewhere. Pained and confused. "Little star..." He softly spoke but your eyes widened at a memory. 

You were walking up the steps of the narrow alley, making your way home from your small job, body exhausted and heart feeling heavy. You were aching and you had no one to go to. You were missing him. Was he okay? Was he still alive? Was he being tortured? You knew the worry would never leave you. If he had spared you, made you hide, you knew there was something in him that still cared for you after his fall. 

Too deep into thought, you were suddenly snapped out as your instincts ran wild. The Force was warning you. Someone was behind you. 

Just as you spun around and ready to defend yourself, something instantly pierced your neck as you lost all feeling, falling back. And just before you were knocked out cold, the sight of a pale, red haired man, stared down at you. "You will no longer be a problem."

Gasping, your heart raced as you looked over, fists instantly clenching as your eyes widened. It was him. The man who tried to kill you. 

Feeling yourself about to hurl, you turned and rushed off, clutching your mouth as you heard Kylo shout for you. You didn't stop running until you made it to your chambers, falling to your knees the second you made it inside as you kept your hand on your mouth. 

Everything was starting to come back, a flurry of images, the central focus of Ben—Kylo—your life flashing before you as all that was taken, was now back. 

"Little star?!" Barging into your room, aiming for your side, Kylo knelt before you and removed his gloves. "Little star..." Carefully peeling your hand from you, Kylo lifted your head by your chin. Your eyes were filled with tears as they streamed, your lips parted as you panted. 

"Ben..." You whimpered as his eyes widened. "Ben!" You cried only to push his hand away. "That— That man! He— He tried to kill me!" You pointed, clutching your head as the images played on repeat. 

"Who? Who?!"

"H— Him! The red haired man! He injected me with something and I—"

"Hux..." Kylo seethed, just about ready to slaughter the man, only to reach for you. "What happened? What did he do?"

"He injected me... I collapsed and h— hit my head and that's when it all went black. But— But I heard him. He— He said I would no longer be a problem!" You stuttered as Kylo wiped your tears. "He is one of your men!" You yelled, pushing Kylo away. "Your own!"

"Little star, I had no idea he had done this... Please, believe me!" He begged, trying to reach for you, but you kept shoving him back. "I would never do that to you. I made sure you were safe—"

"You failed!" You shook your head, smacking his hands away from you. 

"I know, I know! Please! I tried all that I could to keep you safe, away from Snoke! He knew you were still alive, he never believed that I had killed you. Please, little star, I never wanted you in harm's way. He must've done this." He spoke, reaching for you once again as you trembled. "I will murder Hux. I will make him suffer for daring to harm you and take you away from me." 

Looking at him with watery eyes, you shivered. "I had gone years... without knowing of your existence. And now it feels so fresh, as if you left me yesterday." You breathed. "I should hate you. I should despise you for all that has happened. But— But I can't... I can't. Because I—" Cutting yourself off, your breath hitched. 

Wiping your tears away with his thumbs, Kylo leaned in and rested his forehead against your own. "Forgive me. Please. I never wanted you to get involved. I wanted you to be free and far away. To be safe. But I failed you. I couldn't keep you safe. But, here you are now, alive and remembering. Hux will not get away with this."

Taking in deep breaths, you reached out and held the back of his neck, tilting your head enough, lips hovering over Kylo's, only for him to close the gap as he brought you closer to him. It started off slow, mesmerizing the feeling, but Kylo's heart began to race and he grew desperate. He held your waist and leaned forward, into you, settling you on the floor before him as his lips didn't dare leave your own. 

Gliding his hands down your sides and to the back of your knees, Kylo wrapped your legs around his waist before you spoke. "I loved you."

Stopping his ministrations as his hands caressed your thighs, Kylo lifted his head and looked down at you. "Loved?"

You took in deep a breath, "Love... I could never stop, even after... all that has happened."

Nuzzling his nose into your cheek, Kylo took in a deep breath. "My little star..." He hummed. "I've always loved you."

Gently pushing his head away from your cheek, you looked him in the eyes before pulling him back into the kiss. You didn't stop. He didn't stop. As he undressed you and himself, your lips gravitated back to his own each time they had to part. 

Shivering on the cold floor, bare against it, Kylo lifted you in his arms before bringing you to your bed, settling you underneath him as his hands scaled your body; caressing your thighs and sides, your chest, arms and shoulders, up your neck and into your hair. Kylo's numb lips moved against your bruising own, hands parting your thighs as he ground himself against you, making you whimper. 

Lifting his hips and bringing his hand in between your thighs, Kylo slid his fingers against your folds before his thumb rubbed circles against your clit. Hearing your breath hitch, he quickened his movements as you moaned out, clutching tightly onto his hair. 

Leaving open mouth kisses down your neck, nibbling and licking the bruised skin, Kylo's fingers slid into your entrance and slowly began to pump. "B— Ben..." You breathed, eyes rolling back. 

Grunting, biting your shoulder as he quickened his pace with his fingers, your hips began to thrust against them as you panted. His thumb continued to rub against your nub as you softly cried out, tugging at his hair as you came. 

Pulling his fingers out, Kylo licked his fingers clean before he adjusted himself against you, hooking his arm under your leg as he pressed into you. Your breath got caught at the stretch, your eyes widening as he slowly pulled back before thrusting into you. Again and again as your heart raced. His name leaving your tongue like a prayer as you clutched his back, breathing nearly in sync with him as Kylo pressed his forehead against your own. 

The faster he thrusted, the closer the two of you reached your peak, Kylo kissing your neck before he groaned into it as he came in you. You followed shortly as the two of you panted against one another and lied there for a moment before Kylo pulled out and grew limp against you. "Will you leave?"

Reaching into his hair, you took in a shaky breath before shaking your head. "I couldn't if I tried." You nearly whispered. "I want to be here with you. Even if... you are now the Supreme Leader of the First Order."

"As Supreme Leader I can rid Hux without question." He defended as you sucked in a breath. "But... I have something far worse in mind for him. Death is too easy."

"I suppose that is fair..." You hummed, feeling his smooth hair against your fingers. 

"Believe me, my little star, he will not get away with this. You are safe here, with me. And he will regret ever trying to take you from me." He spoke against your neck before lifting himself and looking down at you. "I promise."


End file.
